The Problem with All Sides

(and why I am on Your side)

Before we get into 2020, I just letting you know if we talk long enough, I’m going to make you mad. Why? Because I’m not going to agree with you on something. I don’t know what it is. It may be big, it may be small, but I can assume if we have a real and meaningful relationship; it’s going to happen.

Let me also get out of the way, I am a Christian. Not sure what that word means to you, but I follow Christ is what it means to me. I do the kind of things I believe Jesus asked me to. I have spent my life in church, so I ooze a lot of Christian culture without trying to or even aware that I’m doing it.

As that community exists in 2019, it is often an uncomfortable place to be. Early in my life, I was about as far on the conservative religious extreme as you can be. Imagine anything fun or entertaining, and I probably couldn’t (and didn’t) do it. Even worse I was smugly self-congratulatory at my avoidance of all things that violated my beliefs. I made a huge deal out of letting people know what I was not doing. I am surprised people was as kind to me as they were, I was earnestly oblivious to some of the things I said that had huge contradictions and really lacked a lot of common sense.

Many things happened in my life to give me a different view of my Christian faith. I became more mainstream/orthodox (which simply in my usage means holding on to Christian principles that are centuries old) in my theology, this of course means I’m wildly left to anyone who still believes in some of the things I used to believe in. I even have some things I am left of center on theologically to the mainstream crowd.

Which is why I bring up the subject of sides. In the US political world, in the Christian world, it is almost impossible to start a conversation without someone wanting to know what side I am on. Even if I don’t tell them, they will take what they know about me and place me on a side. All further conversation will be from the perspective of that assumption. It can often be an awkward day when something pops out of my mouth or on my FB page that contradicts that assumption. Followed by silence, they are not sure what is safe to say next.

I hate that part. That lost of security that I sense, that I have suddenly become an unsafe place to be partners on the same side. Maybe even a hint of betrayal, I should have made it clear what side I am on earlier.

Which is why I will not pick a side from these choices.

I do not want to be an unsafe place for anyone to share what is hurting them.

I also do not want to be a safe place for anyone to be lost in an untruth.

There is another reason I do not and will not pick a side. I mentioned earlier that I follow Jesus, and there I study and read about him and the church that he started – there is no side to the Gospel except freedom and truth. By side, I mean the labels and terminology we use to define sides in 2019: liberal, progressive, conservative, left, right, and much worse.

What I am not saying is that there is no right and wrong, truth and untruth, good and bad. That is an entirely different theological issue I will not tackle in this post. I do believe in these things. I just have not found any side that rallies around a label that has a lock on all things right, true and good.

That is my issue with picking a side. If putting a stamp on myself means that I must reject something that is right simply because it goes against my label, I have an issue with that. I have an issue with anyone that wants to place me in that box. I have an issue with anyone who wants to keep me in a made-up box that doesn’t really even exist.

I also reserve the right for myself to change and grow. To move toward truth. To grow in goodness. To be in a transformational process that means I may have a different understanding 5 years from now than I do today. This also means I must allow this same transformation in others. I cannot just give myself that graciousness and deny it for you.

The problem I have with picking a side is when I have to choose following Jesus or a side, I have committed to following Jesus. I am sure many people (on all sides) also are following Jesus or some higher authority. I cannot speak for them or you. I can speak for myself, and to do so freely for me means I will align myself to one of these sides.

Wait, I said I are a Christian. Isn’t that a side? You are right. By choosing to follow Christ, I have aligned myself with him. I amend my position. That is my side. I am on his side. For now, that is as far as I am willing to go.

I do make choices. I will vote. I do attend a church. I cannot live my life in the modern world in a vague haze of not choosing anything that exists under a label. I am just clarifying my allegiance is not to that label.

I have found one thing that Jesus does for me in this strange and sometimes lonely place. He meets me right here. I open the stories of Jesus and I find he is too liberal for the religious of his day (Matt 9:10–17), and too conservative for the crowds that disappeared almost as fast as they came (Luke 17:17–18). I find his disciples questioned his free thinking actions (John 4:27), and he was not afraid to confront them on what was wrong (Luke 9:55). He spoke forcefully and compassionately to different people, at times on the exact same subject (Matt 19:21, Matt 4:9).

What I find is that when I sit too firmly on a side and hurl accusations and anger on the other side, it does not reach the other side the way I intend. If there is any lasting change, it is not because of my actions, it is because that Jesus took everything I lashed out with already on the cross. It is by his love and compassion that he orchestrates their transformation. Taking any side other than his simply has not gotten me anywhere. I do not see a lot of evidence it is getting our current sides anywhere either.